I don’t know if any men read this nonsense, but if you’re a man, avert your eyes. I am about to make an extremely dull but pretty friggin’ accurate comment. And it’s going to be a generalization, so ready yourselves.
Men are babies.
I was chatting with one of my friends this week and we came to the realization, as we have many times before, that God made man the weaker sex fo sho. (Mom, that means for sure, no doubt about it.)
I have watched men in my family (and have heard stories from coworkers about their male counterparts) when they’re sick with a cold or the flu. It’s like all life ceases to exist outside their illness and the women in their lives need to feed them, fluff their pillow and in some cases, wipe their ass. Ok, that last one is an exaggeration, but you get where I’m going. I have watched women in my family suffer from the same illness and they decide to drink tea, homemake a hearty soup, take some medicine and get to work.
No doubt this weakness carries into a man’s daily interactions and even casual relationships.
I started talking with a guy online and when he asked for my number, I thought he might you know, use it to call me. Instead, he thought it wise to send me a text that said he couldn’t talk that evening because he wasn’t feeling like himself, he said he was tired. Now we don’t even know each other and he’s already being a droolbaby… and anyway, who describes feeling tired as not feeling like himself?
I’ve worked with (and some might argue, act like one) individuals who are mentally ill. Maybe this was over the top, (first time I’d ever be accused of that) but my thought was that this guy may have multiple personalities. If you aren’t feeling like yourself, then who exactly are you feeling like, dude? I imagined he identified himself most with his outgoing personality, as he was tired and wasn’t feeling very enthused at the moment. His comment made me immediately regret giving him my number. I’ve decided I’m going to have to get a burner phone just for dating.
Even if one isn’t feeling ‘like themselves,’ don’t share that with strangers. What would a man say if a chick he was just starting to get to know said that? He’d roll his eyes and say, “Okay crazy. Next…” And I think dudes can do this. Because I know a load of gals who have put up with a lot of shit from men. Put up with their excuses and whining and pouting. Some gals who actually thought these characteristics made it obvious that this man needed a strong loving woman like herself, in his life. I have been this gal before.
If you’re anything like me ladies, you’re thinking you can bear whatever burden because you are stronger than he is; you have better coping skills. That last part is for sure the case. We women are fucking copers. We put up, shush up and then stand up constantly – there is no rest for the weary.
I once asked a guy (via email) that I was interested in, if he wanted to exchange numbers and chat. He responded to me which I thought was a great sign, until I read the email. He said he was so overwhelmed with things that had been going on in his personal life and asked if we could touch base in a few weeks. What? Now maybe this was legit and he had some urgent family matters that were pressing for his attention. But most likely this was baseline for him. By that I mean that he was overwhelmed with life, on the regular. I’m guessing he was being a bit of a baby and should’ve said: You know what Andrea, I’m not interested. I’m going to use the cover that I am in a bad spot temporarily, but really I’m just being a sissyass.
Maybe it’s a Minnesotan thing, I don’t know. I’m not talking MN Nice, I’m talking MN passive-aggressive. Never understood being passive-aggressive. Why waste time doing that when you can just be aggressive? That’s my motto. Cut straight to it baby.
I’ve been told that I don’t act like I’m from here. On a couple different occasions, people have asked me if I’m from the East Coast. Of course I take that as a compliment. First off, I love an East Coast accent. Secondly, I’m smitten with NYC. I’d be proud AF to be a New Yorker. Shout out to cousin Mere in Brooklyn. Hollah.
Anyway say what you mean and mean what you say. Life is short enough, we don’t need to spend time trying to figure out what the hell people mean. Just speak the truth. I’m especially aiming that comment at men, specifically men who are in the dating arena. Don’t be babies, just be upfront. It would save us aggressive women a lot of time.
If I stay in truth and give it to people straight, no lies no games, I always know whatever happens is going to be the right thing. Whether I like it or not.
~ Nero Padilla, Sons of Anarchy